decision...

sigh..my mind has been in a whirl these few days...sophian, hudaa, haziq..3 peoples that im trying my best to mentally come up with a decision...

hmm... at the same time, not contradicting anyone of themmm.. sometimes my feelings, i wonders if im faking them or if it's actually real...

haziq, my bro for lifee, i Swear, i will be by your side no matter what happens to you. I want you to be there for me bro. You picked me up when im down.. and, you confronted me when i slashed... You promised that we will be One Blood..hidup-mati....

to sophian and huda.. i hate myself... i hate myself for being a friction to both of you... your relationship. why must i come in between of a relatnshp that has been going for a long time already...

huda, as an abang, i've just want to be there for you and to care for you and to be your listenin ears... but, im afraid that i may have gone too far towards you, my dear adek. i just want you to be happy, with sophian...no matter what he does...

i'll be there for you to pick you up when you're down and when anyone dares to hurt you...

sophian... as a senior ahead of you, i just want you to know that im not someone who you may have thought i am in the first week...

im a fighter who defends others feelings and when my adek tells me about her downs when with you, i hoped that i could do something to make up for both of you... but, sighh, fate just contradicts me..

adek,,,feelings can come in a night, but it can slowly fades in the day... make a right decision and do not hurry into a decision that can hurt someone who loves you most and someone who you have loved.

these is all i've want to say.... do sms me if you 3 feels down about anything, alrites?

AzfarDAJiwang (:

rayeee !

alwitesss... time fliesss... soo cepatt seyhh.. tibalah hari keempat syawal.. haizzz.. perasaan rindu terhadap ramdhan masehh adee.. =(

anyway ! mase hari pertame dngn kedue hari raye... collectn cume... hmmm..secret ! heheh.. tapy, ok2 luhh, dpt lawat 6 rumah totall.. uhumm.. first dayy gii rumahh my paternal nenek, pastu to my first aunt. heheh, her sonn kann.. married to a muallaf tauu... amiinnn ((: pastuuu, gi rumahh my second senior aunt. (:

den, second day raye, we first2 gi rumah aunti ramahh, denn gi umahh pak ngn mak "etek". sampai skarangg, aquu ponn takk tawuu luhh kenape my mom's generationn panggil the couple "mak etek and pak etek". -sighhhh- wieerdd sehhh..

k luhhh,, thesee feww dayss, kat skuull quite mendakkk luhhh... gi skuul, blaja, balik, tidor. bangon, blaja... tuu luhhh my rutin seharian for these feww dayss semenjak selepass hari raye.. pastuu kannn,, at leasttt kann,,

adee my beloved adekk utk layann meee.. yeayyy !!! wooo ! hahaks... she promised me utk nyanyikan lullaby,,tapy sampai skarangg belum2 nyanyikan... ishhhhh... haiYooo =/

hahaks... anywaysss, a short poem for you yer, my dear adek?

itss for welll, thkkss for being a great listenin earr and someone yng understandss me alottt and always tryy to pick me upp when im down. (;

The Wishing Star "Stars are made for wishing on" My very best friend told me So I gazed upon an October night's sky And I picked the brightest star I could see I named my star Huda A very special name Now that this star had a title She was all mine to claim I thought about what I wanted Something that I could wish for But as I thought about my wish I realized Into this process should go much more Huda should know my thoughts Behind each and every wish So before I made my wish that night I told to Huda this I could wish for money Because my family is very poor However to be rich, money is not a necessity A person needs so very much more I could wish for that special someone to like me And say those three little words But love is a much more sacred link That comes on a path with thousands of curves I could wish to be famous To be someone other than myself But self worth is measured by much more than Having the most trophies on your shelf Instead I want to be rich in spirit Sound in soul and mind I wish that when I see the pot at the end of the rainbow Character is what I will find Instead I wish for understanding And courage in matters of love I pray I'll meet the special someone And through tough times we will rise above Most of all I wish for the ability to know and like Who I am and what I have become to be And I ask that you help me realize That I am special even if that's not what I always see I thanked Huda for listening to My wishes and my dreams And there she is shinning bright No matter how dark it seems Huda listens to all I say Even though she live in a world so far But no matter where either of us end up living She will always be my wishing star. (:

ramadhan and syawal

-sigh-. Ramadhan's leaving us soon and syawal's bound to arrive in a few hours time. Thank You Ramadhan for being the sweetest holy month of all months. BEcause of You, i have been able to controll my nafsu, my angers and my bad sides. I hope to meet you again next year,Ramadhan Ar-Mubarrak. And to syawal, welcome back after a year. I hope that this year's syawal will be as meaningfull as the Ramadhan has been to me.

I shall Miss all those who have left me for eternal life.

alwites. well, thiss week have been rather booooredddddd.. =//

yeapss... here's how the patternn goess

7:00 - go sch

3:15 -reach home

4:30 - sleep

7:00 - wake up and break fast.

8:00 - went for night prayers.

10:00 - arrive back home... do homework...play psp...sleeepp

yeahhh... such a boring weekk ehh?? welll, good thing iss, my lovely adekkk, Hudaaa, has been there accompannying me. (:

heeh. SMSed for long hours... and wooh big bucks prepaid burned up mann !! lolx (x

den,last nitee, after went for night prayer [terawih], me and my fren,syaraf planned to go Qiamulai uhhh... but then, tak jadi.. cause he told me he not physically readyy... apadaaa...

yeahhh,,, at tht time, i was on the comp, chatting and facebooking. (:

chat ngn adekku tersayang. yeahhh. well, she was sharing with me her relationship probs. -sigh-

adekku tersayang, i hope you will make your decision someday,alwites?? just berdoaa and pray that Allah shall guide you in making a fruitfull decision. (:

Abang lovess u and will always be by your side through thick and thinn. (:

yeahhh, thenn, at abt 12 midnite, my adekk wann sleepp alreadyy luhhh, too tiredd luhh kann..

then, heh, nyanyikan dierr "twinkle2 lil star" luhhh,, jady, my lil' sweety cn have a gud nite sleep. (:

yeahh.. till here, alwites ! love ya alll. (:

peace out,

AzfarDAJiwang

sept hoollee

one week of holsss..endinn soooon.. D:

welll, anyway, here is list of wot i did during the hols. :D

monday- got math and sci remedial till 12. den, lepak at skewll... den go homeee... reach around 1:30 (lol!)

tuesday - BOREday ! at home, sleep,wake up, bathe, study, smses... =/

wednesday - welll, went airport to study wif some of my classm8s and brought my lil deary along [ Hudaa ] (:.

woahhh... first time sehh i blurr2 especially at the airport....lolx..

meet hudaaa,erra,fi'la, kiankok, enqing, mohaid at tamp inter small mac to go together...

woahhh... wait for the 3 boys till like 11:40 sia... actually planned at 10:45...yeppss,, den, we take train and go airport. :D

okieee, sooo,here it goesss. :D

first, go term2, try to seach for viewing hall.. but den, the staff there say it's under renovationnn...

den,, we follow kiankok and enqing.. they wan go mac for lunch.. den, mee,hudaaa, erra and fila study luhh outside there while waiting for fai'zah and nadiah... yepps.. den, sometime before they 2 arrivedd... we all kene halau seh... the staff say cannot study at macc... woahhhh badddieeeeeee D:

hahaks.. den, we all jalan2 go term3 viewin mall. not crowded luhh.. we sit on the floor and do our work...

to tell euu e truth...only me and hudaa was concentrating suhhh.. the rest all... omg.. play2..listen song.. watch vid.. >.>

hahahks.. den, abt 2, me and hudaa left for our Rawy at Masjid Istighfar. Took Mrt to PasirRis inter, then, go to e mall there and wait for hudaa to change for the Rawy thinggy... yeps..

den, we both go there together... hahak, my first time going there, so a lil nervous... hahk, and for hudaa, it was her second time. :D

to tel euu e truth,, i didnt noe anythin abt it till she told me about it on sunday. :D

thkss lil dear. (:

Thursday - Friday

well, these 3 daysss, i volunteered as Al-Istighfar mosque with my kawan, Nurul Hude. (:

It's part of an activity,RAWY [ Ramadhan Active Week for Youth]. We played some fun games... yeps yeps ! funnn ! hahak, den, we help to pack bubur and help to distribute to peoples visiting the mosque... funn tau ! dapat pahale lagiikk.. xD

hahak. we went together.. but balek sendiri.. hahak.. haf to give her some personal spacee luhh..

Saturday...

in e morningg, Huda smsed me.. ckp yg dher nk giii Night of Power [Qiamulai] at Masjid Sultan, along with the Masjid Al-Istighfar youth club. sigh, im gonna miss her smses for 24 hours++. ):

gonna get lonely and bored alone... awwhhh ):

welll, will miss u, lil girl and takke care aights ! be back home safe and sound !! (:

welll, i cantt got cause im gonna be quite busy this weekend and also, tomoro im visin my Allahyarham and Allahyarhamha's perkuburan. -sigh-.

yeahs. den, rite nw, i also just got back luhhh... tady, gi shopping kat tm,cq and t1 wif my elder bro. gi shoppin utk beli baju2 ngn jeans for raye luh.. nak dekatt luhh knnn... hahaks.. welll, i bought 3 helai baju, ngn 1 sluar jeans... woooh besh !

hahaks. sampai sini luhh aku tuliskan "blog"[dlm bahase mlayu ape uhh??wahahaha] aku ini... chiaooo !!!

take careee aighhtss, readerrsss???

signs,

AzfarDAJiwang

gerek jgk uh narii..

jadi nari... nari ok2 jugak luh... skola cam normal, pastu abes uhh... npcc tak ade drills/campcrafts... maen game! gerek !

for the first try, i noe how to use chopstick ! wooo !!

but then later on,,, woah... piakkkk.. cant use alreaedy... wahahaha..

well, one of the game, need to use chopstick and carry a marble from a container to a chair... kinda easy luh.. but for me... HARD !

den...yeah, play fill up the bottles using wet sponge..... fun siol !!! my pants all super wet... k luhhh, frankly speakin, im the wettest !!! =//

wahahahaha...den, play captains ball using water balloonnn.... i think, about 8 water balloons/more drop to the ground and burst uhhh.. =//

haha, thats all for npcc.. den, dismissed at 5:00..den, lie on the bench on the canteen till 6:10, den go home ! wooh... took bus around 6:30, reach home 7:20... almost 1 hour..dono why..then, terpakse uhh, buke puase dlm bus...bubble teeeaaa oii ! besh !

opp opp, lupe nk "add in"

okayyy, tadii previous punye post luper nak add tiss part luh.. mase nk leavin the Jamiyah Home, Elya*KawanAekAku cakap.. dier nye dreams..

"kalau aku da besar, aku nak kawin laki yang kaye kaye kaye

pastukan, aku akan datang balik ke sini sini sini.

pastu da kaye, aqu donate satu million million million million (itu da macam 1000000,000000,000000 kaye o.O)

pastu, aqu akan jage jage jage orang2 tue kat sini hari hari hari !

nanti, anak2 aku, akan aku bawak dorang keee sini sini sini !"

haha, tu la si kawan aek aku nye dreams..

signs,

azfarDAJiwang

nari !

jadi narii...narii ok2 luh.. sampai skola 7:30.pastu uat keje skola math.. den rehearse utk history skitt... math..ok2..blaja spheres,hemispheres ngn tk tawu uh...chim uh dehh pastu dep..ok2..den yayaya..blablabla... 2:15 skola abes ! fuhh gerek !! pastu.. aku, elya ngn budak2 guitar semue gi Jamiyah Home for the Aged uh.. or.. Darul Takrim... aru masok je..ati da terbelah due seh aqu.. :( k luh,, kene jage perasaan hati... im a guy.. pastu, ade pompuans lagi.. klw nk :'( maluuknn, haizz.. k luh, den, we all jalan2, den go to this like gathering hall... me, imran and elya cam cakap2 bersembang ngn dis nenek luhh. her cerite is quite sad actually... aqu tk nk tuliskn luh di sini... takot2 klw aku..yeahh..tkleh jage my perasaan... den yeah, me, imran and elya janji..end of year, we all will revisit lagik skali. =) sedih tauu, tengok warga2 emas macam... tidak dipedulikan oleh anak2 mereka sendiri... aku actually da trained my voicebox luh dari pagi.. so, plannin cam nak nyanyikn utk dorang satu lagu jiiwannggggg.. tapi, kesuntukkan mase.. den, mase utk balik luhh... aku betol2 goin to rindu tis place.. the last time aku datang was like 6+ years ago.. lamer seh.. haha..pastu kiteorang temankn imran gi prime market.. he go beli air..aiyooo tk puasee... haha jkjk.. den we all alik uhh. aku temankan si elya, kawan baek aku alik uhh, sal aku nk gi masjid, pastu we both talked pasal bende paranormall..den yeapps.

den,, bye2 uhh.. she go back home, i go straight masjid.... matii2 plannin nk amek bubur.. tapi before tht, aku gi smbhyg asar, tahiyatul masjid and qadak zuhur dulu luh.. pastu.. da abes smbhyg... nk amek bubur.. da abes.. D=

k luhh, sampai sini jer... penat lah dey... 5:40 sampai rumah..

Take care !

AzfarDAJiwang